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Why are today’s young women paying to keep men?

I have to be honest… this situation kinda makes me sick. Beautiful young women, with their whole lives in front of them, are buying anything and everything for some lazy, playa wanna-be, no job having, no car driving, crotch grabbin’, no-idea-how-to-be-a-real-man boys. Seriously, what is going on? Why do some young women believe, that a guy they have to pay for, is worth keeping? Unfortunately, older women are not immune to this syndrome. They are just as guilty of opening their purses for losers. Now, if you have money to blow, and you want to spend all of it on some young thang, fine. Do that. But, if you are living paycheck to paycheck, or just getting by, STOP IT!

In general, most women have always been thought of (by men and jealous women) as gold-diggers.  And indeed, there are   many of them around. However, during the past few years, the tables have turned. Women have taken on the role of financial caregiver, while men (boys) have become the users. Now, don’t get it twisted. In some situations, there’s nothing wrong with the woman taking care of the man. Maybe you’ve been married (or even dating) for awhile, and your partner became ill, got hurt, or lost his job. Maybe he worked while you went to school, and now you’re returning the favor. That’s called sharing the load, and that is not what I am talking about here. I’m talking about young to middle aged women who are trying to hang on to a man by taking care of him financially. Sometimes, it’s so subtle that the women don’t even notice it… until it’s too late. Then, when the money runs out, they wonder why the guy left and where he went.

Sadly, one of the main reasons this is happening is because these women have lost their self value. They believe that they are unlovable and unworthy. For the younger ladies, there is a belief of ‘he’s so cute’ or ‘he’s such a catch’ just because the guy looks a certain way. They identify good looks with a good relationship or status, and I’m sorry to tell you, but that just isn’t always the case. I’ve heard girls say, “Yeah, but he drives a really cool car!” Well guess what… Some other out-of-her mind, disillusioned girl most likely made the payments!

By now, you may be thinking that something similar has happened to me. It has not. I can’t stand to see a guy’s underwear on my floor, so there’s no way his stinky fingers are getting in my bank account. I am honestly just so tired of seeing so many beautiful girls (and women) get hurt because they believe the lies and the hype. They believe the “I’ll pay you back, baby” and the “I’ll never leave you, baby.” Unfortunately, they also believe the “she’s just my cousin. Honestly, baby. I’d never lie to you.” Ladies, stop paying for their Taco Bell, bail, child support, and rims (if they even have a car). Just stop it!

Listen, I understand that loneliness and self esteem play a major role here, and I know that he makes you feel special. I understand that your friends are dating, and you want to date too. I also understand that your last boyfriend was a jerk. But so is the one that’s cleaning out your bank account, and maxing out your credit card. You may say, “But he is soooo nice to me.” Of course he is. You’re willingly giving up all of your money, your time, and your self respect. And you’re doing it for a guy that’s laughing about you behind your back.

If I could make one wish come true, it would be that all women looked inside themselves for encouragement and self worth. It would be that young girls would think of themselves as cool or special because of their personal choices, not because of their friends or the guys that smile at them. It would be that every woman knows that SHE is the alpha and omega of her worth, and that no other person has the ability to change that.

I’ll leave you with this one thought. Consider this– What are you saying to and about yourself if you have to pay someone to spend time with you? Aren’t you worth more than that?

Thanks for reading!

The following are comments that were left when this was posted on another site:
angel1 on 27 Aug 2009 at 3:50 pm— Hi Anita,You make some good points, but I know a lot of guys that are or have done the same thing. I think that it works both ways, and what it comes down to a lot of the time is that nobody wants to be alone, but also that our hearts don’t always follow the best direction for us. The one floating the bill may truly care or even love the freeloader, but the emotions don’t always go the other way. There are a lot of takers out there and when they find a giver, they latch on because it’s in their best interest, be they male or female. Sad but true.
missanita on 29 Aug 2009 at 6:43 pm— Hey Angel,I hear ya, and that’s why I mentioned the “gold-diggers”. In my opinion, many of the men, that foot the bill for women, do it because they consider it their role (so to speak). It’s sort of society’s norm, and many women have come to expect it. “I want a man to take care of me” has, for many years, been a primary thought of many women.  As long as they are up front about that, and the man is in agreement, there’s no foul (although this also makes me sick).  It’s the sneaky take-advantage-of-the-man women that I don’t have a tolerance for.
However, I’m mainly speaking of the most recent trend, involving the young men that take financial advantage of young, vulnerable women that are attracted to them. These girls think those guys actually have real feelings for them, when the reality is that they don’t. I’m talking about the lazy non-working bums that see victims when they look at these young girls. They swoop in, take advantage, and swoop out leaving devastation behind– and feeling zero remorse. Unfortunately, they are not alone. There are many wonderful guys out there that are also being taken advantage of (I hate leaving a preposition at the end of a sentence). Girls pretending to be pregnant when they aren’t. Girls that pretend to have a honest interest in a guy just to “get paid”. All of it is sad. But to me, the saddest part is lonely, hard-working, young women falling for (and supporting) guys that aren’t even worth an item on the dollar menu.
Thank you for your comments.  I do agree that it does work both ways, and all good hearted people need to be-AWARE.

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4 responses

  1. beat

    Really? Same planet as im on? Man these men must all look like charlton heston. Ive never had a women buy me a frikin toothpick.

    Like

    August 9, 2013 at 9:11 pm

    • LOL!

      Like

      August 10, 2013 at 12:18 am

  2. Sick of men and their shit

    The biggest crock of crap to me is men who ask you to move in with them then decide to charge you half the “Rent” even though your name is not on the lease and you have no legal claim to anything. This on top of the fact that they make way more than you so it becomes an exploitive thing. You pay HIS rent, cook HIS food, Buy HIS food, clean HIS apartment that you have no right to and Sleep with him without benefit of marriage and on top of all this free work you have to PAY him for it. It reduces you to the level of a tenant who sleeps with her landlord. It kinda makes him a pimp doesn’t it? So many women are willing to put up with this garbage too under the misguided belief that it’s “feminism” to let a guy use you.

    Like

    July 26, 2012 at 1:56 am

    • Anita

      I understand what you mean, but every person is responsible for his own survival– even women. No one has the legal right to live anywhere for free. Those people are called squatters. If you live somewhere outside of your parents’ home, you need to pay rent unless you have an agreement that says you don’t have to. It is never understood that a girlfriend is going to get a free ride on the bills, and if she expects that throughout her life, that says a lot about her. Yeah, some guys will pay all of the rent, and allow a girlfriend to live there; but most people pay their half of rent and utilities. It has nothing to do with feminism. Instead, it has to do with individual responsibility.

      This post is more about girls and women that allow men to use them and drain them financially… Females that constantly give guys money, pay their bills, pay their cell phone and car payments, and buy whatever the guys want. Females that do this tend to have low self esteem, and believe they have to do this to keep these wonderful guys. Women need to wake up and stop supporting guys in an effort to keep them. Females need to stop believing the “You know I love you, baby! I’ll pay you back!” lines. If we have to pay for their presence, they aren’t worth having!

      No unmarried guy is required to pay anyone’s way, and vice versa. Having to pay your half of the rent is not about being used. It’s about paying your share of the expenses. If you want a sugar daddy, by all means find one. There are plenty of gross guys out there for that. But, don’t EXPECT a guy to take care of you just because you’re dating. However, if you find a guy willing to do that, more power to you!

      Like

      July 26, 2012 at 6:32 pm

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