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How much hate is surrounding you, and what are you doing about it?

Recent events on this site (that have now been removed-possibly permanently- because of discriminatory comments), as well as reactions to them, have caused me to once again think about the threads that surround my family and me.  Are these threads positive, or are they attaching negativity to my life?

Many years ago, when I was in my teens or early 20s, I had to “clean house” and push a few people out of my life.  At that time, I was still introverted (YES I WAS), but I had strong opinions about certain subjects– uh… kinda like I do now.

I was hanging with a few friends who were constantly hating on this group of dark-clothes wearing, tattoo-sporting, tongue-piercing teens.  You’ve seen the type.  Now, I’ve always been a fan of dark clothing, and I’ve always wanted a tattoo, but that isn’t what this is about.

My friends were mercilessly slinging insultsand criticisms at these kids for absolutely no reason, other than the fact that they were just different.  I talked to my friends about this often to no avail.  Eventually, I realized that my spirit felt different– strange.  It was like a dark cloud was hanging over me.  That dark cloud turned out to be hate.

We see hate and negativity everywhere.  We are literally surrounded by it.  It’s in movies and TV shows.  It’s on the news.  It’s on the internet.  It’s in our homes, at our jobs, and sometimes in our churches; and it’s overpowering the children in our schools.  Kids are killing themselves and each other because they are bullied by out of control kids that have never met a consequence for even one of their actions.  Families are moving from neighborhoods because they can’t find peace outside of the hate on their own streets.

Hate is a cancer on our excuse for a well-mannered society.  It’s killing people.  It’s killing spirits, and it’s blackening our souls.

As many of you know, I was recently accused (over and over and over again) of being a homosexual because I hate hate.  Yep!  I hated the hate that spewed from a so-called “Christian’s” mouth regarding a publicly known lesbian, and that made me gay.  Have you ever heard of a more ignorant and class-less accusation?  Especially from someone that’s supposed to be not only a friend, but a Christian? Unfortunately, I have.  Her vile (and very non-friend) comments reminded me of the probable origin of my hate of hate… racism and slavery .  In a certain point in history, black people were called niggers, held in slavery, spat on, beaten, and raped just because of their race.  They were different.  Hate.  Anti-slavery activists were considered nigger lovers, their homes were burned, and they were murdered just because they thought slavery was wrong.  Hate.

For another example, do I really need to say much more than the word Holocaust?  Hate.

Hate also floats around within certain races.  For example, there are black women that hate other black women because their skin is lighter, or their hair is longer or of a “better grade”.  Since I had long hair, I grew up dealing with this type of hate myself.  And believe me, it wasn’t pretty.  The hate, not my hair.  My hair was beautiful.  🙂

For some psychotic reason, there are people who believe they are morally entitled to hate.  They have a delusional belief that if you consider yourself to be standing on high moral, financial, social or religious ground, you have the right to spew hate anywhere you choose, as well as on any person or group you choose.  There are some name-tag Christians that deliver more hate than the KKK delivers burning crosses.

Now, here’s the problem with that.  There are many, many awesome Christians and non-Christians out there.  Regular people who spread love through their actions and their words.  I consider myself blessed to have known, and currently know, many of these people.  The people I speak of don’t run around preaching AT and judging everyone.  They just live their lives, and they use random opportunities to show love, kindness, and compassion.  Unfortunately, the fakers often overshadow these wonderful people.  I mean, don’t we always hear more about the bad than the good?  Yeah.  Besides, people who do good for the sake of good never look for publicity or notoriety, so they are often unknown.

As a nation, we are suffering from the long-lasting effects of hate crimes being committed against specific people or groups because of religious differences, race, sexuality, skin color, and even weight and appearance.  Hate, and the love of it, is completely out of control, and I believe it is shaping our lives in profound ways.  So, how do we remove the thread of hate from our lives?  Well, that may depend on where or who it’s coming from.

Getting rid of some hate influence is easy. Turn off the TV.  Aha!  Or simply change the channel.  But what if you’re picking up constant negativity or hate from a friend or family member?  What then?  Clean house, baby!  Errrr… I mean, have a talk with the people in your life. Be honest, and tell them how you feel.  It may be difficult, but it’s worth it.  It can be relatively easy to close the door on friends that promote hate (like I did recently), but it isn’t that easy when you’re talking about family.  That’s why open communication is so important. So, use it.  That’s why prayer is so important.  So, use that, too.

Long ago, I had to make a conscious decision to discontinue relationships that were affecting me in a negative way.  I still love those people, but they aren’t good for me.  I made the choice to surround myself with positive people.  People that didn’t hate or judge others at the drop of a hat.  And guess what?  I’m all the better for it!

All hate isn’t all bad.  For instance, hating an injustice can lead to a positive action against that injustice.  Using hate.  Gotta love it!

The Moral of the Story:  If hate is affecting your life, use it or lose it!  If you can, remove negative or hate-filled people from your life, and replace them with positive influences.  Unfriend that wacko (umm… mislead person) on facebook.  Stop taking calls from that joy-sucking friend.  If you can’t do that, talk to them, or at least find a way to limit contact with them.  Remember, it may not feel like it, but we are in control of whom and what we allow into our lives.

Life is short!  Live it!  Choose Love Over Hate!  NoH8!  Woot!

Thanks for reading!


4 responses

  1. I’m seeing a lot of bloggers taking a stand against bullying and hate lately and I so hope it makes a difference and turns the tide in our society. I, too, see the hate and bullying all around us. Even the joy of books – which is supposed to be our refuge from reality (right?) – isn’t immune. I see people bullying authors through unnecessarily cruel reviews and authors trying to tank other authors by buying negative reveiws to pull down their competition’s amazon rankings. How out of control and crazy is that?! I see so much anger around us and wonder what we’re all so mad about – we’ve got it pretty good here in America compared to a lot of other places. Thank you for speaking out against hate and bullying! We need more people to do this!


    April 8, 2012 at 7:38 am

    • Anita

      Hello Terri! You are absolutely correct! When I wrote this post, I wasn’t thinking about what you’ve mentioned, but you’re so right. Recently, I’ve seen authors leave specific book sites, such as SmashWords and GoodReads because of this very thing. They had received rather hateful reviews that were initiated by the competition, and they were just sick of dealing with it. An honest review that happens to be a bad review because of the book is one thing. But, trying to cut the competition by spewing hate and negativity is another. It’s a shame because we should be supporting each other, not trying to bring each other down. And for what? Ratings? Clearly their work can’t stand on its own. Crazy! The other side of the coin is that unsuspecting readers depend on honest reviews to guide their purchases. Most of them don’t know what’s going on, so whom are they to believe?

      Thanks so much for stopping by, and for sharing your thoughts!


      April 8, 2012 at 5:08 pm

  2. I love how you are sharing the love Anita. Really powerful and well said.


    April 6, 2012 at 5:43 pm

    • Anita

      Thank you so much, Cheryl! I really appreciate that!


      April 6, 2012 at 6:54 pm


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