Do romantic movies ruin relationships?
One of my fb friends made an interesting statement in one of his posts. He said, “Please I would like to hear your opinion on this one. Romantic movies ruin relationships. They give women unrealistic expectations about what to expect from men. Porn has the same effect on men.” Things that make you go… hmmmmm.
Okay, don’t even try to get me involved in a ‘porn’ conversation. Nope! Forget about that. However, I must admit… I don’t read romance novels and I don’t watch romantic movies (though, I have seen a few), so I hadn’t really thought about this much at all. So, I decided to write about it. 🙂 Here is a comment from one of his male friends…
“There’s another outlook that we need to consider. How has romantic movies contributed to people falling madly in love. It definitely influences man & woman alike. Men need to look at moving away from the stereotype ‘role model’ & be himself. Once a woman sees that there shouldn’t be any problems. Woman on the other hand should not be looking for the Knight on the white horse & accept the hand God has dealt you. Speaking about God, He is ultimately in control of our hearts desires & He will fulfill those desires according to His will. So there, I’ve said it. Give your heart to Jesus & He will decide who is best suited to be your life’s companion. Sex on the other hand is a 2 way street. Be confident enough to communicate your desires to your partner. Likes & dislikes should be treated with the ultimate respect. Respect God & what He determined our lives to be like, respect yourself & lastly, respect your partner. Surely this way you both will find common ground. Say what ? Coming from an ex-womaniser – that’s me.”
Well, I didn’t have any kind of response to that comment. NOT! This is what I had to say…
“Okay, here’s the thing… Women are emotional creatures and we are WOMEN. We are caretakers. We bathe kids, feed everyone, and clean everything. We are teachers, chauffeurs, doctors, and nurses. IMHO, romantic movies are cheesy, and I don’t like them at all. But, one truth of them is that we need and like to know that we are loved, appreciated, respected, and known. Yes, known, as in you truly know us. For some women, that means flowers for no reason. For others, that means chocolates just because (I hate chocolate…lol). For me, that might mean a Harley Trike or Can-Am Spyder, washing my truck, a new video game, or new guitar strings. It’s the feeling that someone I love took the time to do something meant just for me. So, [name removed], romantic movies don’t ruin relationships. People ruin relationships. If a woman says, “Why don’t you ever do what he did in that movie for me?”, she’s already feeling neglected and unappreciated. If he throws a fit about having to do something (or anything) romantic, he doesn’t truly love her as he SHOULD anyway. If he did, he would do something he hates (romantic dinner-dancing, flowers-whatever) just to make her feel good. Yes, it is much better to let God do the matchmaking, but that doesn’t absolve the guy from doing romantic, or more importantly, thoughtful things for his lady. That’s my two cents. Wait…inflation. That’s my $1.50. 🙂 “
After reading another comment or two, I also said…
“One thing I forgot to mention: First- Yes, as I said above, God should definitely be the matchmaker – so to speak. But, that can’t be used as a crutch. “God put us together, so I just need to accept that everything that’s happening is His will.” NOT. However people come together, there is always God-given free will, and it isn’t always used as it should be. And FTR, women should never just “accept the hand God has dealt you” as was said. That’s how so many women remain in abusive relationships. “Men should be themselves, and women should accept it”, is bogus. A real man, a man who truly loves his wife, will do special things just for her just because it makes her smile. And a woman will do the same. That is romance! That is all. 😀 “
Now, I have my spiritual beliefs, and yours may differ. So, for the sake of conversation, let’s remove the God factor because that is not really what this particular post is about. It just happens that my friend and I are Christians, so a few extra things were thrown into the mix. So, that aside… What do you think? Do romantic movies ruin relationships? Do romantic movies change our expectations? Do women expect more from their mates because of something they’ve seen in a movie?
Let me know what you think, and as always, thanks for reading!